Brandi and Rob's adoption of 7 year old Aidan was finalized this year. Brandi has kindly shared a glimpse of their story below.
The Decision to Adopt
We pursued adoption because God gave us the heart. For years I had it set in my mind that I didn’t want kids. I loved my life the way it was and never felt the need to share it with anyone else. I liked kids but I liked that I wasn’t responsible for them more! Yet a few years ago my heart started changing.
Telling my husband was the hardest part because kids were never part of our conversations. He had two girls already and was content with that. We had the conversation one day while eating dinner in Afghanistan. The crazy thing was he felt it too! We were definitely not alone in this decision.
The Challenges & The Joys
One of the greatest challenges is waiting! You definitely have to learn to be patient through the process. We spent about 8 months filling out paperwork, going to classes, making phone calls, etc. When you’re finally done…the waiting begins. You can do nothing to speed the process except know that God is bringing your child to you. We were fortunate we met Aidan pretty quick and he moved in right away. We then waited for over a year and a half until the adoption was finalized.
As happy as this moment was for us, it was very sad for Aidan. When we told him the adoption was finalized he put his head down and cried. He said, “I just always thought I could go back (meaning his previous family) and now I can’t.” Those are hard words to hear from your child. I know he needs to mourn his many losses so God strengthens me when I hear those words. It’s hard to think there were so many “moms” in his life. I was not his first for many things and I do not have any idea of what his journey was like.
Aidan's adoption was much different than the typical way, but unfortunately not totally uncommon. He was originally adopted through international adoption from Columbia. Sadly, the adoption disrupted and we ended up getting him through private adoption. Disrupted meaning they adopted him but then chose to put him back up for adoption. Fortunately, we have become very close with this family and God has blessed Aidan with two families who adore him!
Our son has changed our lives. I now know the joy of being a mother. He has brought us so much happiness! Our relationship with each other has changed for the good. We’re closer to each other and we’re closer to God. God is teaching me what it is to be there for others instead of being there for just myself. Aidan says the best thing about being adopted is having a mom and dad who love him. He's so happy to belong to a family!
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
Mercy for America's Children has been a huge blessing. I would recommend anyone to find an organization like theirs for support. We felt we were as prepared as we could possibly be by having others to share our experience.
You will be told that “you will just know when you meet YOUR child.” This is the truth! God has a plan for your family and you will be together for His purpose. Adoption is not easy. It comes with challenges. Every child being adopted has trauma. They are separated from their birth family and they will always wonder how they fit in. Some children’s trauma is more significant than others, but they all have it. Be patient and understanding with your child. They are worth it.