Brandi and Rob's adoption of 7 year old Aidan was finalized this year. Brandi has kindly shared a glimpse of their story below.
The Decision to
Adopt
We pursued adoption because God gave us the heart. For
years I had it set in my mind that I didn’t want kids. I loved my life the way it was and never felt
the need to share it with anyone else. I
liked kids but I liked that I wasn’t responsible for them more! Yet a few years ago my heart started
changing.
Telling my husband was the
hardest part because kids were never part of our conversations. He had two girls already and was content with
that. We had the conversation one day
while eating dinner in Afghanistan. The
crazy thing was he felt it too! We were
definitely not alone in this decision.
The Challenges & The Joys
One of the greatest challenges is waiting! You definitely have to learn to be patient
through the process. We spent about 8
months filling out paperwork, going to classes, making phone calls, etc. When you’re finally done…the waiting begins. You can do nothing to speed the process
except know that God is bringing your child to you. We were fortunate we met Aidan pretty quick
and he moved in right away. We then
waited for over a year and a half until the adoption was finalized.
As happy as this moment was for us, it was very sad for
Aidan. When we told him the adoption was
finalized he put his head down and cried.
He said, “I just always thought I could go back (meaning his previous
family) and now I can’t.” Those are hard
words to hear from your child. I know he
needs to mourn his many losses so God strengthens me when I hear those
words. It’s hard to think there were so
many “moms” in his life. I was not his
first for many things and I do not have any idea of what his journey was like.
Aidan's adoption was much different than the typical way,
but unfortunately not totally uncommon.
He was originally adopted through international adoption from
Columbia. Sadly, the adoption disrupted
and we ended up getting him through private adoption. Disrupted meaning they adopted him but then
chose to put him back up for adoption. Fortunately, we have become very close
with this family and God has blessed Aidan with two families who adore him!
Our son has changed our lives. I now know the joy of being a mother. He has brought us so much happiness! Our relationship with each other has changed
for the good. We’re closer to each other
and we’re closer to God. God is teaching
me what it is to be there for others instead of being there for just
myself. Aidan says the best thing about
being adopted is having a mom and dad who love him. He's so happy to belong to a family!
“Be still, and
know that I am God.
I will be exalted
among the nations,
I will be exalted
in the earth!”
Psalm 46:10
Advice
Mercy for America's Children has been a huge
blessing. I would recommend anyone to
find an organization like theirs for support.
We felt we were as prepared as we could possibly be by having others to
share our experience.
You will be told that “you will just know when you meet
YOUR child.” This is the truth! God has a plan for your family and you will
be together for His purpose. Adoption is
not easy. It comes with challenges. Every child being adopted has trauma. They are separated from their birth family
and they will always wonder how they fit in.
Some children’s trauma is more significant than others, but they all
have it. Be patient and understanding
with your child. They are worth it.